PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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