do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
