Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
