New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize