man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
