Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
No subtext here. People are naked.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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