okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
