i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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