I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
