dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
