elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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