I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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