Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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