How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize