I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
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