I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
