I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
