wake up i wanna do it froggy style
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
