hotel room ftw
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
