with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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