he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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