Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
