So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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