i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
