i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
