Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
