We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We have started to decorate penises.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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