Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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