I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Still dying that you shit outside
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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