woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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