Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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