This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
