but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize