So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It's never too late to be topless.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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