this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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