Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
