i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
