Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
