P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
