Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
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