I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize