So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
