You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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