Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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