I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
