I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
