and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
