I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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