Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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