you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
