I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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