It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize