wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm really busy with my period
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