some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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