Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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