your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think I just sharted jello shots
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