Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
