Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
