There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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