you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize