Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
