No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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